Hephzibah's Diary

It's been a while since I wrote on this blog, and that's because I have basically been too embarrassed to write anything here. I didn't feel worthy of being the writer of this blog. This is because I told a lie to some people, and I felt like the lie was justified and necessary. I even talked to a few friends about this lie, the reason I told it, and the concept of a white lie. They mentioned that they understood but would still advise me to pray about it and ask God for forgiveness.  I did pray about it, but day in and day out, I kept being consumed by guilt, and my conscience would not let me rest. But do you know the worst thing about telling a lie? being caught in a lie, and yes, I was caught in the lie. I felt so bad; I cried for days and didn't eat for days. I felt like disappearing; I wish I could rewind time and make it all better. I felt very unworthy of my friends, people who look up to me, and even of you reading this blog. I overthink a lot, and at some poin...

Hello people of God! Today's gist is about my car again  (Apologies 😅). By the way, I have been driving for over a year now 🤯 Please make sure you tell me congratulations and drop encouraging words for me in the comment 😂 (Ko easy). Anyway, recently I noticed that my car drives way too slow. Whenever I'm driving, it feels like I'm crawling, like the car is not moving as it should. At first, I genuinely thought something was wrong with the speedometer so I had a mechanic check it and everything. But I was told everything was fine. A few weeks ago, I compared the car's speedometer to the radar speed signs and I found it was accurate and nothing was wrong with the car. I reexamined myself and basically, the major reason why I have been feeling like my car drives slow is because whenever I drive, I get left behind 😂 Other cars just fly by and this makes me feel like something is wrong when in reality nothing is wrong. No one follows the speed limit in this city and it...

Growing up, my usual countenance towards the Israelites or the story of the Israelites is condemnation. They kept complaining about water and food on different instances even though God had provided these things in the past, they didn't trust God and lacked faith at the crossing of the Red Sea, they didn't trust God that they would enter the promised land and how dare they go make a golden image just because Moses was absent for a few days (40days) talking to God 😅.  I condemned them for all they did, for always disobeying, complaining, and grumbling, I condemned them for being so faint-hearted and not obeying God. I always asked myself questions like how could they be ungrateful despite everything God did for them🙄. Like, did they forget all the plagues God inflicted upon the Egyptians on their behalf? did they forget how God fought Pharaoh and his army on their behalf, did they forget how God made the pillar of clouds by day and the pillar of fire by night for their guidanc...

If you know me then you'd know that the Great Commission Album by Dunsin Oyekan was dropped for my sake 😅. This is because I have been listening to it endlessly, recommending it to everyone, talking about my favorites on the album with my friends, and posting it time and time again on my social media. However, as much as I love that album, there is a song on that album that I haven't had the boldness to sing out aloud until recently. Now I can sing it after a lot of talking to myself, examining the state of my heart, meditating about it, and of course, praying about it. The song is titled "The Worshipper's Song", and the lyrics I had been struggling to sing is,          " Thank you for the things You do For the miracles You give But I still, prefer Your presence, over everything I still choose being with You, over these things"

While driving to church a few weeks ago, I knew that the speed limit was 45mph but I chose to drive way over the speed limit. My excuse was "I do not want to be late to church" (P.S. It's a frivolous excuse because even if I drove slower, I still wouldn't be late to church; I had enough time).  Suddenly, I saw a police car on the side of the road (ahead of me) and I immediately started to slow down to the speed limit of 5 miles above the speed limit so that I was not pulled over or given a ticket. I was listening to the radio while driving back home that same Sunday,  and the radio host shared a similar experience. (It felt like she saw me). She was driving way over the speed limit, spotted a police car, and immediately started to slow down as well. Her son asked her why she did that and she mentioned that she slowed down because she saw the police car. Then her son said, "Why can't you just drive every day like the police are watching" - that word staye...

Recently, I posted a quote from Mindset Therapy on my WhatsApp status and that quote sure gathered a lot of reactions and spurred a lot of conversations. The quote says  "When you lose an emotional attachment to someone, you realize how ordinary they are. It's your love and your energy that makes people seem so special" This quote gathered a lot of comments like "A hundred percent ", "I agree", and "So true". It also led to different discussions and instances where it had happened with people. Majorly, the discussions revolved around the different scenarios of how you thought your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend was the best thing (since sliced bread 😂) in life and now that you are probably no longer in love, they seem ordinary and like everyday people. This further supports the above quote that it's the love and energy that you give to people that make them so special. Last week, I was having a discussion with my friend, Yvonne, and we ta...