Rejections

Hello, my diary readers. I hope this diary entry meets you well. I am not really sharing a story today but I just want to write about how I have been coping with the numerous rejections that have been coming my way, with the hope that it might be of help to one or two people. The last few months have been tough. I have literally received more rejections in the last few months than I have received in my entire life. I have been faced with rejections in my academics, career, and relationships so much that I have struggled a lot. Please note that I am not writing this post because I have stopped facing rejections😅. I am only writing to share some of the things I have learned and come to understand with the hope that you would also learn a thing or two.

One of the lessons I have learned is never to equate my rejections or failures with my identity. Hey, you are not your failures. It's a rejection email but you are not a failure. The beautiful thing about being a Christian is that our identity is not tied to our successes or failures. Our identity is and can only be tied to Jesus Christ. So, because you received a rejection for that admission or that job does not make you a failure. Because things are not working out the way you wanted or envisioned does not make you a failure. You are priceless, you are enough, you are valuable, you are God's own baby, He created you in His own image, and your identity is in Him. Doubts would come, condemnation would come, insecurities would show face, darkness would try to steal your light, and sorrow would try to steal your joy but remember Romans 8:31-39 and tell them that God is for you. Tell them that you are more than a conqueror through Christ. Tell them that nothing, not even rejections, and failures can separate you from the love of Christ. Give no room to entertain doubts, fears, insecurities, and sorrows. Remind yourself that God is God in the good and bad times. 

Also, surround yourself with trusted, godly, and good friends. Shoutout to all of my friends. Y'all are the real MVPs. Having friends that speak God's words to you, and remind you of your identity,  pray with and for you is such a big flex. I remember telling my friend that I got a rejection at a place where I was one hundred percent sure I was going to get acceptance and she was just like "it's their loss", "were you not just wanting to manage them?", "God is bringing something greater your way" and she proceeded to encourage and pray with me. If you know me, you would know that I like to figure out life on my own and by myself. If things are not working out the way I want, I can just shut out my friends, figure life out on my own and come back to my friends when I have it all figured out. But in this season, I have learned to be vulnerable with my friends. I have learned to talk to my friends about my feelings and that has been very helpful. 

Another thing that has helped me is worshiping in the midst of failures and rejections. I remember opening my email one day and seeing 5 rejections from different organizations at the same time. It was as if they all planned to deal with me. As I opened them, all I kept saying was "thank you, Jesus" amidst tears. I was crying and genuinely thanking God, I was singing to God, crying and saying "thank you, Lord". And afterward, I just felt so relieved and great. Worship works wonders. So, I'm telling you, worship God in the midst of your failures and rejections. Don't worship God only when all things go fine, worship in the bad times too. Also, rejection is painful so, it's okay not to be okay. It's okay to allow yourself to feel the pain. Acknowledge your hurt and process your feelings. Don't suppress your emotions; cry if you must. Feel the pain and hurt but don't get lost in it. 

Lastly, don't stop trying. Don't stop putting in the work. Don't give up. See what you can do to improve and keep getting better. I remember trying to face my fears after a rejection. So, I emailed an organization about the reasons why I was rejected. Ultimately, it resulted in the organization recruiting me. I ended up rejecting the organization (that's a story for another day). My point is that rejection has a way of making you complacent and looking back but keep looking forward. Encourage yourself in the Lord, and trust Him for his timing and provision while putting in the work. Face your fears, face your rejections, and try again. I love the end of 1 Samuel 30: 6 that says that "...and David encouraged himself in the Lord". Encourage yourself, and don't allow your rejection to make you afraid of trying again. Put yourself out there again. Apply for that job again, apply to that school again, apply for that grant again, apply for that contract again. Don't stop trying. 

Here are some other Bible references that were useful for me. I hope you would find them useful too. 
Jeremiah 29:11- God's plans for me are for good not evil and he plans to give me a future and hope.
Romans 8:31 - God is for me. No one or nothing can be against me
Isaiah 41:10 - I am not afraid, I am not discouraged for God is with me, He would help me, He would strengthen me and hold me up with His victorious right hand
John 14:21 - He has given me peace that the world can't give me. So I won't be troubled or afraid. 
Psalm 30:5 - Although sorrow may last for the night. Joy comes in the morning. 

Have you ever dealt with rejection? Feel free to comment below on how you dealt with it. 

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